Merger to Create World’s Largest Bankrupt Airline

From Scrappleface:

If the U.S. Airways buyout of Delta receives regulatory approval, industry experts said it would make the resulting company the largest of the world’s bankrupt airlines and a strong candidate for a future government bailout.
U.S. Airways yesterday announced it would offer Delta’s creditors $8 billion in stock, cereal boxtops and S&H Green Stamps and would name the merged firm Delta Airlines, which the source called, “one of the most recognizable brand names in the non-profit airline industry.”
“The synergies are incredible,” said an unnamed spokesman for U.S. Airways, “There’s a lot of overlap in areas of incompetence, customer dissatisfaction, mismanagement and hubris. Thanks to economies of scale, together we can achieve new levels of mediocrity.”
The source assured investors that the new Delta Airlines stock would make “an excellent tax write off, and a great way to add balance to your portfolio of growth stocks.”

Posted by on November 21st, 2006 at 10:23 am


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